I hope my boss convinces my GM about getting me a new position so I can finally be happy at work. It was funny because my boss admitted how much he hated the place too and how he feels my pain but doesn't want to see me leave because he "enjoys my company and thinks I am hilarious."

Why the fuck did you call me?

I know you read this, so I just wanna know why.

And here comes that magic part.

I'm not free or tied up.

But, I'm still an animal.

There was a time when my world was filled with darkness.

But not anymore.

This big adventure across the states will be tricky,

but I think it will bring us all that much closer.

Where did our intellectual conversations go?

Houston, we have uh oh.

My sugar on the asphalt is slowly licked by the ones around me who think they know better. My attitude does not deal with this meaningless speech. I am overcrowded by the unknown and have the ringing in my ears of jane doe. She can't speak the lyrics, but she still feels the beat. If you die, then what if you turn into the mind of another person, but not there body. You would control the thoughts but not the actions. Having someone else feed off of your power. Fuck that doesn't make any sense.

Pineapple juice and Jameson.

There is only a small opening in the trees and thats where my thoughts lead. Seeing those faces flash in the light is the only hope I have of knowing what is to come. However, the same faces keep showing up, and only bad news is to bear. Except one face does not show up, and that is my greatest triumph.

I'd rather listen to drum beats all day.

Vacation

1. Atlantic Iowa,

Seeing my family, county fair

2. Indiana/Chicago

See Jacob George :)

3. Philadelphia

See my sister, eat good eats, and the beach

STOKED!

His fist hit me like pow.

How could he throw the remote?

Pushed me into the wall,

put his hand to my mouth,

and told me to be quiet

as to not wake the remaining residents

of the ransack he called home.

I unwillingly resisted,

swaying my fists,

slashing out against my morals.

Just the thought of escape had me salivating,

but I would have to plow through the blockade of human being

that faced me to achieve it.

Every time I pushed a boulder pushed me a step backward.

I couldn't feel my hands anymore,

it was almost as if they were bloody with disease

from trying to escape my once love, but now enemy.

The character of man is constantly changing, that is why we are so unpredictable.

That night her possessions littered his floor, but her body was not to be found. No morning after clutch would be had. Forced by pressure he had supple hope that he would find her first. However, the villagers found her before him. Her body was mutilated: sliced to pieces, raped, pulled teeth from pliers, nails hammered into her skull, slashes on her arms and legs from a butcher knife, nail plucked off her fingers. She had been stripped of all her dignity. The ordinary madness swirled all around the scene.

The villagers then marched to his home, convinced he was the one. They believed his sanity was at an end, and he had lost it somewhere down the road and became a salivating monster unable to sleep at night.

Spare parts, bottles, and cutlery littered the ground, the prodigal son has returned being dragged by his lifeless arms. His knees bloody from scraping the reminents of the Earth.

They strap him to the chair, hateful eyes watching as the sins the man committed will be washed with electricity. The cables entangle his body, blue, yellow, gold, and silver, each having its own purpose. Wet the sponge while waiting for the axe to fall. His last words, "never look back the past is a wilderness of horrors."

They flip the switch, he grits his teeth until he jumps over the fence and his mouth screams, his bloodshot eyes buldging. With every shock his bones and muscles are exposed.

His body falls limp at last. His heart has quit beating. He is a dead weight in an old chair that has been sat in many times to bring out the dead.

No one has the respect to bury the innocent man, so the worms begin to feed and the rats feast upon his corpse, which emanates a stench across the town square. The villagers ignore it for it confirms their hatred and deed of death.

The sky falls black and the villagers gather for their last glimpse of his corpse before it is eaten away, and they take turns spitting upon him.

A strong wind hits the town and the dark horse rides to retrieve his limp soul and jumps into the night's sky and disappears. As all the villagers drop to the ground.

ALL DEAD.

all dead.

Bukowski, American Spirits, White Russians, and Painting.

My life today and tomorrow, it rules.

You're touching me like piano keys,

you can't buy that movement.

We as human beings are also creatures.

What if, we all turned into manic blood frenzied beasts always competing and looking to kill and take from their victims?

But we are already these beasts.

We lie, we cheat, we steal, we break all in a hast influenced constantly from our insenuading tendencies to be the best, have the best, and live the best.

What if the world suddenly treated each as equals?

It would be boring or it would be the same, but full of peace.

I'm not so keen on the idea, I'm way into conflict in the world.

It makes for great stories and legends as well as modern day crisis.

Conflict just keeps life more interesting.

We will always continue our decietful, as well as, our pleasant ways forever.

Hopefully someday something with kill us before we all kill each other. Nah, I'd like to see a zombie apocalypse, or just be blown to shit by the huge natural disaster.

Vacation canceled = bummer

Night at the bar after finding out = excellence

Good times on the reg, sex on the reg, making art on the reg, making dolla dolla bills on the reg = my life be like oooooooo ahhhhhh

Cat who snores super loud = cutest thing in the world

My Favorite Albums

The Album Leaf - In A Safe Place

American Football - Self-Titled

Andrew Jackson Jihad - People Who Can Eat People....

Arcade Fire - Funeral

Baroness - Blue Album & Red Album

Behind Enemy Lines - Know Your Enemy

Bjork - Family Tree 1

Black Flag - My War

BRMC - Self-Titled & Take Them On, On Your Own

Blacklisted - Heavier Than Heaven, Lonelier Than God

Botch - We Are the Romans

Burning Witch - Crippled Lucifer

Caspian - The Four Trees

Ceremony - Violence Violence

Circa Survive - The Inuit Sessions & Juturna

Coffins - Self-Titled

Converge - Jane Doe

Cursed - I

Deadbolt - Hobo Babylon

Defeater - Travels

Demented Are Go - Hellucifrication

Devendra Banhart - Cripple Crow

Drop Dead - You Have A Voice

Earth - The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Den

Electric Wizard - Dopethrone

Elliott Smith - Figure 8

Eyehategod - Dopesick

Fear - The Record

Frank Sinatra - Love Songs

Hank Williams - Full Collection

Infest - Discography

Iron and Wine - Woman King

Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures

Junius - The Martyrdom of a Castastrophist

Kanye West - 808s and Heartbreaks

Kylesa - Time Will Fuse Its Worth

Lewd Acts - Black Eye Blues

Merauder - Master Killer

Mew - Frengers

mewithoutYou - Catch Us For the Foxes

Minus the Bear - Highly Refined Pirates & Planet of Ice

Muddy Waters - Master of Blues

Narrows - New Distances

Neurosis - Through Silver in Blood

The Ocean - Fluxion and pretty much all of it

Pantera - Far Beyond Driven & Vulgar Display of Power

Pelican - Australasia

Portishead - Self-Titled & Dummy

Pulling Teeth - Vicious Skin

Red Sparowes - At the Soundless Dawn

Russian Circles - Enter

The Smiths - The Queen is Dead

Suicidal Tendencies - Self-Titled

Weedeater - God Luck & Good Speed

There's probably a lot more, but this is what I have for now.

Soooooo,

I think it's hilarious when certain people attempt to break me down and scare me even though I have no care. I think it is even funnier when they break something they own because they are mad. I'm just glad that it is over...for now, I know it is not the complete end.

More importantly I am extremely excited to go on my vacation. I get to stop by and see my family in Iowa on the way. The next morning I am seeing my cousin, really really early for breakfast. Then I get to go see a good lookin man and we are going to celebrate our birthdays together. It is going to be relaxing and a relief. I need to get out of Colorado for a little while, no matter if I am going broke in the process. Hopefully it ends up being all I want it to be, I am a little weary that something is going to go wrong. But hopefully my feelings go away and everything ends up just fine.

Oh I wrote a list of my favorite albums, I'm going to post it soon.

Not like anyone reads this anyways, I just write on here for something to do from time to time.

I don't want anyone to touch me.

I'm upset and have been molested and no one seems to care.

How can you not?

That's my only question.

I feel at the bottom of the barrel and no one will help me even get to half full.

How the fuck would you feel?

Satan, I don't use the word god, unless its certain cercumtances.

I just hate everything and everyone because no one will help me,

and no one cares.

So, my solution equals getting piss ass drunk tonight, so much so that I can't feel or see anything. Yes, that far.

I'm fucking done with everything, i can't deal with this anymore.

Why I'm upset, ask for the whole story I guess.

I hate people and the things they do.

Snake Farm

It just sounds nasty.

I just hope that no one spills the beans and tells anyone about what I said as a very private conversation. If they do, I am going to be upset, very upset.

There is something going very very wrong though, and it takes too long to figure it out. I can't think or I think too much about nothing that pertains to what I need to think about. I can't focus because my eyes move from side to side and up and down all over the room. Out of the corner of my eye is dark figures rushing past me, and I hear a deep satanic voice calling my name and giving me a message that is too hard to decifer.

Hopefully sometime soon I feel anew, and it won't be so hard to not be weird.

Why do you work at the snake farm Ramona?

I really hope the events of the past two days never ever happen again in my whole life. I didn't know that things could fall apart that fast and consume my life. I still can't function correctly because of it, but I need a week or two to put myself back on track.

Your day of demise is quickly approaching, and I feel no regret.

Chubby Bunny

I've got chubby cheeks and sore teeth, because I got my wisdom teeth out. I'm glad it snowed this week, that way I don't feel like I'm missing very much. I also fall in and out of sleep during conversations, one second I'm awake and the next, I'm asleep. It's really funny.

Someone happens to have a bad case of the moobs, and let me tell you it is gross.

Is my name Karen? Then I don't care.

Been in the process of dying my hair blonde on one side, black to blonde = shitty.

It will look cool in the end though.

bahahahahahahahahahaha,

everyone thinks you are a tool, or a nazi.

Try to ruin my reputation, no I think you ruined your own.

Good luck schmuk.

The Night

Cats are snoring louder than my music,

I'm awake....still, because of her.

HAHAHA.

You think I was mean then, when I was actually nice.

You are just a cry baby, you need to grow some thick skin, you proclaim yourself as high and mighty, but you aren't. I broke you down piece by piece, easily. You be nice first, then I will be nice back. Think of how good things were at first, then they spiraled to shit, just wait for it to happen again.

By the way I'm not crazy, so you can stop telling everyone I am. :)

Just you wait though....Just you wait.

I am going to ruin your life.